If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
