what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
