Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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