I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
