if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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