If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Randomize
