Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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