Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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