I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Randomize
