ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
How many fucks given?
0.12846
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