And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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