HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
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