i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
