i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Randomize
