Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
