did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize
