She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
