I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
