I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
