She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Randomize
