"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Never joke about your clitoris.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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