How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
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