dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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