hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
