he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
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It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
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So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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