I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
