no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize