Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
You know, be my cock's hype man.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
