How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
