She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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