Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Randomize
