Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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