I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
