he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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