Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
