you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
