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• (214): View more from Texas

  I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...

  (1-214): View more from Texas

  Mike i'm at church right now...

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• (707): View more from California

  I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?

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• (214): View more from Texas

  I got "discovered a new religion high" last night

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• (916): View more from California

  I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.

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• (713): View more from Texas

  this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy

  (1-713): View more from Texas

  well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much

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• (231): View more from Michigan

  I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.

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• (706): View more from Georgia

  On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.

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• (707): View more from California

  After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it

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• (538): View more from

  Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy

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• (858): View more from California

  Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.

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• (415): View more from California

  OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING

  (1-415): View more from California

  Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!

  (415): View more from California

  I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.

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