Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
