i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I have post one night stand depression
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
