What a fucking waste of an outfit
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
