haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
