Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
