cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
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