margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
