How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize
