You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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