I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize