Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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