So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
