i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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