careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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