Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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