We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Your penis caused this!
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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