So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I want a musical about memes.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize