Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
