Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
