Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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