Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Randomize
