is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
