Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
