I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
