Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
