I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
